If I would have to write an autobiography about my last 20 years, I would probably be writing for the rest of my life without finishing the work. Experience overpowers time. We experience lives differently. Some people choose to live their lives to the fullest while others choose to live theirs with emptiness according to the commitment in their pursues. We are continuously shaping our existence as we make choices in our lives. Even when we decide to do not decide, ultimately nobody escapes freedom. Indeed, there are experiences which bring into eternity and there are lives which have never been lived. I am neither writing an autobiography nor a brief of it. I am sharing some experiences of my life which shaped me the way I am now. For the last 20 years, I have achieved one of the most important chapters of my life. The chapter of “Knowing what I am not”; so far the hardest chapter of my life. Everyone has to face the existential self-enquiry. Some people face it when it comes, while others postpone it and some others suppress it into the unconsciousness in order to carry the “practical” of life. The common idea is that learning, earning and developing a career and family are sufficient enough to accomplish a successful life. These are definitely important aspects but alone do not bring fulfilment. Self-actualisation is the sine qua non of fulfilment and accomplishment of one’s life. I was in Verona (Italy), my birthplace, working as a photographer. The camera brought me to see within the person and easily unveil the reality. I saw dissatisfaction, anger, sickness, fear and sorrow, especially in the elders. I had a clear picture of what would have been my life if I would have merely focused on the “practical”. That picture really shocked me. I quitted my job. I sold my car. I put some clothes in my bag and told my family and friends that I would start my journey. At that time my parents could not understand my choice and they could not accept to see their son leaving for a journey without planning the return. I wrote “Amore” (Italian lit. love) on a note which I left at home under the cover of my tabla (indian classical musical instrument at percussion). My first destination was Varanasi (India) for the study of Indian philosophy. When I reached India I did not know any language other than Italian. It was so difficult to drastically adjust to a new culture without even knowing the language. In a couple of years I became familiar with English, Hindī and a little bit of Sanskrit. I started the study of Indian philosophy with local Paṇḍits. Paṇḍit Har Govind Miśra was my first teacher in English, Hindī, Sāṃkhya and Āyurveda. I lived just next door to him. I read through the scriptures over and over. I found the study of Indian philosophy was highly inspiring, indeed I learnt the very lesson from life. Before reaching India I didn’t know anything about the “belief” of Hindus regarding Varanasi or Kashi “The City of Light”. Believe it or not, it became my reality. It was the purgatory where I expiated my sins. I spent 7 years in Varanasi, the hardest and painful time of my life, accompanied with misery and sickness. I really came close to death. It was a very difficult but also the most precious and spiritual experience of my life. I eradicated all the attachment towards things, people and life. And finally I came to my journey of rebirth. I started a new existence. For the first time I saw my sick body and mind was not part of myself anymore but as an existence in a human form. I left the illusion of the human existence for the reality of the spiritual existence. I did not look any difference in the eyes of the world but I was not the same. My consciousness completely shifted from the “mind seeking the Self “ into the “Self fixing the mind”. I emerged myself in the study and practice of Yoga and Āyurveda and I started bringing my body and mind to optimum health. Very soon I realised the merely philosophical study of Yoga (Sāṃkhya) could not have brought me very far. But on the other hand,  I was not interested in attending “gymnastic” classes in institutes like those of Mysore or Pune or any other commercial or touristic environments focusing merely on the physical aspects of Yoga. In order to look for a genuine master, a yogi, I travelled from Varanasi to the Himalayas for years living a life in hermitages and temples as a mendicant. I travelled to the north of India, and the remote cities of Nepal, Tibet, Pakistan and Bangladesh. After joining the Maha Kumbha Mela (the most important gathering of ascetics and monks) in search of a master I desperately decided it was time to head back to Varanasi even without finding a master.

It was by chance that a day during a bath in the Ganges at Varanasi, I started a conversation with a saṃnyāsi, Svāmi Jñānānada Bharati. He was also coming from the Maha Kumbh Mela. A Saṃnyāsi or yogi is a person who have renounced to the worldly life in order to attain spiritual emancipation. The vow of Saṃnyāsa is the total renunciation of all ties with the world. The Saṃnyāsi raises his meal through accepting alms, has not permanent abode, keeps moving so that he is not attached to any person or place. The goal of the Saṃnyāsa is liberation from the cycle of re-birth (called mokṣa in the Vedānta and mukti in Sāmkhya and kaivalya or ultimate isolation in Yoga). I started learning Yoga from him at Varanasi. My master wanted to test my readiness. He left Varanasi in the early spring, telling me to see him two months later at Gaṅgotrī in the Himalayas. After two months, I met him again and to find out that I had to live in a 4,400 feet mountain cave with him. Yoga stands on four pillars self-denial (tapa), abhyāsa (spiritual discipline towards mental steadiness – samādhi), non-attachment toward worldly enjoyment and life (vairāgya) and total surrender (īśvara praṇidhāna). The summer was near to an end and the weather started getting very cold. In a few days I would have to leave the cave. Before leaving Gaṅgotrī, my master asked me to take the upanayana (the vedic initiation to the study of Brahman ) and the saṃnyāsa (the vow of total renouncement) with me. Indeed I did not take the vow. Saṃnyāsa is nothing but the very practice of Yoga for those according to the Vedānta and the Yoga Darśana. That was the most orthodox path, but not for me. As I saw the spiritual path far different form the religious path.

I continued my journey with the practice I learnt from my master and from my previous teachers. This time I reached Chidambaram in the South of India (Tamil Nadu), where I was completely engaged in the study of the 108 Karaṇas of Śiva. I had to learn Tamil, as most of the texts were written by the dīkṣitars in Tamil. Despite there were researches done by Bharataṇāṭyam exponents and scholars, the 108 Karaṇas remained a secret of the Nātha-s sect (ascetics who “have learnt it traditionally from Ādinātha or Śiva”). I found a cottage in Srīrangam where I continued my study. I used to spend half the week at Srīrangam to study Sanskrit, Tamil and Śāstra-s (vedic treatises) with Prof. Śrī Rangasvāmi Tirunārāyaṇan and Prof. Śrī Rangasvāmi Sourirājan of the Śrīrangam Veda pāṭha-śāla. For the remaining half of the week, I stayed in a Nāṭyāśālā (Dance Hall) of Trichy to study the foundation of nṛtta (dance) and karaṇa-s (unit of movements) with Nāṭyācārya Śrī Vṛnda Rāmanan. Without any expectation in nearly two years, I started having local pupils coming to my hermitage for learning Yoga and Āyurveda. After being involved in the brahmin community and society, I decided to pursue a degree in Psychology, Yoga and Śiva siddhānta (tantric philosophy and literature) at an university; in part because I was interested in the subject and in part as a duty towards my parents. A couple of years later, I had another life threatening experience. I was bitten by a cobra which entered my cottage. My condition was really serious. One of my best friend and companion of dance, Bālasarasvatī, rushed me to a nearby hospital for anti-venoms in the middle of the night. I was in a very serious condition for almost a week in Trichy hospital. My survival was a miracle. A gentlemen from the brahmin community (my neighbourhood) heard about my accident. He kindly offered me a nice and safe house to stay after I would have recovered from the hospital. This was a big change for me, not only because I moved into a house after many years, but also because I had the space to receive more pupils. Gradually I found myself running a school of yoga (yogāśrama). I had local students mostly local brahmins (Iyengar and Iyer) ranging from the age of 5 to seniors and some pilgrims from the nearby cities coming to see the temple of Śrīrangam. It was a marvellous experience and genuine relationship which still last with some of them. After building up confidence in teaching, I started traveling to different countries in the Southeast Asia to conduct workshops on Yoga and Āyurveda.

Finally I went back to Italy to see my family. It was one of the most touching experience of my journey. On the day I reached home, I went to my room and looked under my tabla where I found the note I left before leaving home: “Amore” (Love). Only that time, acquired with the Sanskrit knowledge, I understood the meaning of that word. “Amore” in Latin a-mors = “senza morte” (with no death), in sanskrit a-mṛta, or immortal, eternity, final emancipation attained through realisation of the Self. The continuos change or impermanence is the only “permanent” element of our life. Indeed there is a eternal reality which stands untouchable and which make us to be the observer of our “continuos becoming”. This reality is the Self.  The chapter on “Knowing what I am not” was over but my journey was not. After my trip to Italy, I returned to India to finish my academic studies. Upon my completion of my degree, I decided to start a new chapter. Looking for a drastic revolution and for new experiences. I reached Hong Kong in the 2011. I am currently teaching and sharing my experiences all around the globe; more or less like a modern nomad. I live minimalist life. I live freedom. My work is my passion and I fully  love my students and what I do.